


Sometimes, I Really Do Need Help.

by PrinceGoatNards



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Dissociation, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW OKAY, Please Don't Hate Me, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Sad, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Violence, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, again apologies, btw i don't know where this is going, can't write well, carl has some problems, daryl is like a best friend dad uncle brother person thing, good dad, graphic anxiety, michonne is coolio, rick tries really fucking hard, severe problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 04:59:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2609420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceGoatNards/pseuds/PrinceGoatNards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>if this one thing happened to carl how would this change the plot? how will carls inabelity to stop his attacker change everything?</p><p>(thank you inspiring writer thank you!!! and im bad at sumeries.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes, I Really Do Need Help.

**Author's Note:**

> hope your not disappointed with this crappy cake i put to much baking soda in.... have fun!

Rick and michonne sat side by side, by the truck. Carl slept soundly in it. It had been a long day, lost their camp, saw a guy get torn apart, They were exhausted. "Its all we ever think about anymore, food. I was beginning to forget what it was like." Rick chuckled.

"well i hope we forget again soon," they shared in their silence. The hard week passing not knowing the fate of their friends. Loved ones. 

A rustle in the leaves, sounded to much for it to be nothing. "What was that?" Michonne leaped up sword at the ready, rick followed. Tge silence of the road was eerie, not quite right. A moment passed before they sat back down again. 

"Oh deary me, you screwed up asshole! you hear me? You screwed up" rick felt the gun of a husky voiced man press against his temple. Shit. "Todays the day of reckoning sir... restitution." He saw michonne cornered by another man. "A bouncing of the whole damn universe."

Carl woke up, he heard the speech easily through the cracked windows. He tensed when he sat up, seeing a wiry beard and yellow teeth smile stare lustfully in at him. His heart rate went up. "Shit and i was thinking of turning in for the night on new years eve hehe. Now whos gon count down the ball dropper wif me ah?" Carl sighted the gun against his dads head, shit shit shit. "Ten Mississippi.....niine Mississippi, " the bearded guy twiddled a knife under his mouth, " eight Mississippi"

"Don't" it was daryl. Daryl, his mind was rought with thoughts. He saw michonne and his dad stuck in their spots, there eyes widening with fear, happiness and confusion in one second. What was going to happen to him. "Hold up" he sounded choked, daryl choked.

"Your stoppin me at eight daryl," 

"Just hold up"

"This is the guy that killed lou so we have nothing to talk about" another guy spoke. 

" these are good people." His hands wavered nervously, he began to set down his bow. "If you want blood take it from me man." Carl looked toward his dad and his captor.

"This man killed our friend.... and you say these are good people," the man stuttered and tripped with frustration over his words. " you see that right there... is a lie" joe stance doubled up making him a taller more intimadati ng stature. He signaled to the rest of his group.

Carl watched as two men grabbed daryl and beat him to the ground. He was stunned he was scared. Really scared. Suddenly he was grabbed out of the car. A knife pressed against his throat.

"YOU LEAVE HIM BE" His dad boomed, as he struggled with the guns aim. He gasped, no no. He was already tearing up. No please dont hurt them he thought please dont hurt me. " it was just me, IT WAS JUST ME"

His captor leaned in, repositioning the gun against his father's neck. "See now thats right it ain't no lie. Id we can settle this were reasonable men." A sickening grin planted on his face "First we're gon beat daryl here to death. Then we'll have the girl, then the boy." Rick huffed, expression boiling into lure hatred. "Then im gonna shoot you and then we'll be square." He laughed. 

Carl was pushed to the ground, quickly he turned to fight the gnarly man off him "stop your squirming ahahuhauh" he squirmed and punched but was hit hard in the face and dragged behind the car. The knot in his stomache twisted and turned his fear turning into adrenaline. His whole body was shaking. 

"Let him go." He heard as we was dragged behind the car. His fingernails tore and became bloody from scraping against the ground. He wasnt ready for this!

"Dad!" He shrieked. As he passed daryl who was knocked out and bleeding all over the cement. He felt the man fiddle with his pants. no "No!" The taunting laugh he gave chilled him to the bone. He writhed and squirmed, till the blade again pressed to his neck. " Please" he cried, he felt the cold air against his thighs and the mans hands pulling his boxers down. rocks scraped his skin as he was roughly flipped, being straddled. "NO! NO! NO! GET OFF! GET OFF ME!"

"GET OFF HIM DONT FUCKI NG TOU CH HIM!" His dad growled. 

"Shut up!" joe said. He was bare, carl shut his eyes, " please, please anything anything but this please," he bawled. His ass was traced and suddenly there was a sharp ache through his abdomen and tear in his ass. He screamed, 

"Yoh make another sound and i force this dick down your throat as well you little bitch," carl cried and gelled in his sobs. It hurt it hurt so bad. Out and in again he let out another yelp before being pulled up by his hair knife cutting a scratch on his throat. "You fucking earned it whore" the pace got faster and faster tearing his skin. 

“LET HIM GO,” thud.

"STOP" He shrieked at the top of his lungs. yells came from the other side of the car. boot slammed against his face causing another shriek. 

"Hurry up im next," said another man. He just stared at him, just stared as his whole soul got torn out. He felt a flush in him.he knew it had been to long since it started but now it felt like a blur. Everything was going by so fast. The cock was removed l, he tried to stand but was met by a fist to his neck. "You're not done yet," again he was held down come oozing out his rear, being ignored by another dyll pain thrusted into him. He just leid there limp, there was no point fighting back. "Im so sorry" he whispered.

Carls world began to blur. His head went dizzy, he didn't feel it. He didn't feel it, he was watching himself. He saw himself being raped. Carl closed his eyes. He w  
Already felt it he didnt wNt to watch it to. Focus on the ground dont think dont see just focus on the ground. 

Rick opened his eyes. He heard the sobs, he heard the grunts. He felt the shoe on his back and the aim of the gun. He felt guilt he felt rage. Rick looked to michonne who sat tears streaming down her face as she shut herself down. The fire in his stomach grew and grew. What could he do how could he stop this. How could he save what little dignity his son had before it was all over. 

"Oh fuck!" The foots pressure loosened. BANG BANG BANG. Rick jumped up tripping joe making him jump backwards. Ricks fist flew towards his face knocking off balance before he was again grabbed "heh what you gonna do now?" His eyes flamed, he rammed his head into joes neck sinking his teeth into dirty flesh, ripping his jugular with ease. Daryl held a gun up to the wretches face.The man on carl stood with hands in the air. "He's mine."

"Please" no hesitation before he jammed the knife into the villain, again and again and again and again.  
Michonne had quickly ran for carl, she cradled the dazed boy, watching with utmost horror. She looked to daryl, it was silent, the only sound was of the knife.

 

morning came, carl had woken up in his father arms, with a wretched pain in his hips and, well. he didn't try to move it hurt to much to move,he didnt even want to. slowly as he realized his unease he began to try shifting away from his dads grasp. suddenly there was a sharp pain coursing through his spine, he whimpered from the pain. it surged through till it reached his finger tips. Carl closed his eyes, mk m laying awkwardly on the floor to scared to remember from the pain. 

He must have made a much louder sound for daryl suddenly jumped from his slumber. carl looked to the ground unable to look in his eyes. “ you fall?” he asked, his tone more weary then tired. carl nodded, before trying to sit up, trying desperately to ignore the throbbing pain in his rear. he scooted himself into the corner, daryl noticed his wincing though. it was silent for a time. Daryl eventually broke the silence, “we all are hungry, i guess i should wake up michonne,” he worked his way out of the car, patting michonne awake as he did so. they left pretty much imediatly, he was again greated with silence. 

Carl scraped against the ground, bloody knees bloody hands, his body ached. He didnt know why. He was crawling, his eyes drenched in agony. Get away get away get away. Please hurry "DAd"

"Carl! Carl!" He was being shaked "carl im here, what happened?" He jumped and tensed at the firm grip. "You were screaming," he looked into his dads eyes, they looked tired and burnt out, ill. Carl opened his mouth and tried to speak, but just shook his head. Wht was that. What was that. He felt his heart racing suddenly feeling a a hot acid climb up his throat. "Carl! Shit." Bile fell onto already dirty car carpets. What was going on with him? 

" i i eh i" stuttering he couldnt speak his while body was boiling with pain sudden pain with no reason to be there. "What" it came out barley a squek, his whole world was spinning and he couldnt focus on what his dad was saying. Every word was clear as day but nothi ng was maki ng any sense. He couldnt breath. Carl clutched his chest and started panting.

"You need to breath, remeber breath," said his father. He was wheezing now, barley able to blink he just kept staring at his own stomache acid on the floor. "In and out remember that, carl please!" Rick reached out to grab his shoulders again. No no touching not again. He started flaing and whacking around pushing himself as far back into the corner as posssible, sheilding his face with his arms, before sliding down the wall. He let out a cry of pain. 

"I can't i can't i cc can't" he just kept repeating over and over. Till he heard the banging on the car doors. Rick gunkered down trying to quiet his son. Neither of them knew what the hell was happening. The vanging stipped and the side door burst open, daryl had several squirrels dangling around him. Michonne was right behind him sword being sheathed. 

"I dont know what to do." He heard his father choke out. Daryl looked from one to the other. Carl was hunkered down wheezing, almost pushed under the cars seat he was backed so far into it. It reaked of bile. He saw daryl staring just below him. Why was he doi ng that. 

"Rick." He nodded toward the floor. Everyone was stari ng at him. Everyone was looki ng why was everyone looking. Why he wanted them stoo looking at him, he needed to be alone, no he needed someone there, he couldnt decide. 

"Fuck." Rick mumbled. What? He looked down. Red stained his pants not copoius amounts but enough, he was bleeding. He was fucking bleeding. What the hell. 

" i don't-...what?" This was so embarrassing, so humiliating. He couldn't do anything. His hips hurt so bad in this position. Tears welled at his eyes. No he couldn't no he was already so weak. Holding his breath he tried to make his way out of the car. He just needed to get out he needed to go.home. wherever somewhere. He hit the ground as he tried, falling face first into cement, right onto his swelling eye. Exposing his back to everything. They could probably see even more blood. He couldn't even make it out the door. An arm tried to help him up. "DONT TOUCH ME!" The tears started to fall and the heaving breaths that came with crying followed. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME" he turned to his front. "Just leave me alone!" Sobs blocked the words. 

Carl could see all of them watching him, why was he so weak. Why did he have to be so weak?! He was wrong, every ounce of dignity he had left was gone. He was just gone, alone and ashamed and humiliated, while everyone watched.

 

 

The sun was setting. Rick had tried to get the group somewhere else along the tracks, but carls state had barely improved. He been sleeping all day, crying out in his sleep as well. He felt utterly defeated. He sat in front of the car eating whatever daryl had brought back with him. The redneck plopped down next to him. "How is he holding up?" He asked. Rick stared at his food for a bit then answered with grievance.

"Not well.... i don't know what to do, i have been involved in cases, but-... My own son?... " how was he supposed to tell him it gets better when it was his fault? He wouldn't blame carl if he flat out never looked at him again. He fidgeted still soaked with blood. "We need to get terminus. Its 'safe' there. I don't want this to happen again, i can't." Daryl nodded. 

"We can't go in lookin like this, its like we bath in blood," he tried to joke. Rick still had the same expression. "Look, this is one of the hardest things your gon go through. But, you can't shut down on me, you can't shut down on carl. He needs you." The exasperation in the air made all the harder to finally let rick alone. He knew he must have been feeling tremendous guilt, he couldn't imagine having to go through this himself. 

 

Carl had tried hiding his limp, not that it really mattered, he was the slowest one of four, his hips hurt way to much to walk his usual place, even two days after. Rick had tried raking his bag for him saying he could handle the weight, he was being treated to fragile, when he wasn't fragile. So had carried his heavy bag and some extra things, rick wasn't to happy about that. His father kept looking back and giving looks of pity. Carl kept scowling the whole way to terminus; one because of the pity, two because of the pain, three because his pants were still wet from washing them, in which case everyone was slightly frustrated.

"We should only have a couple hours left, be there by noon i'd guess." Daryl spoke breaking the silence. Everyone nodded. Continuing on the tracks. michonne carl noticed, started gripping her sword more often, when sounds didn't even happen. Everyone else was being so tense while he was just...spacey. he would find himself an hour later not remembering how that happened. This whole two days have just been a blur. Carl stumbled over a stick huffing a small sound of pain, he gained a quick glance from everyone. 

It was annoying, frusterating. That he couldnt handle himself anymore. Whenever his fear hit he felt rage as well. Carl had been starteled by a leave and in a fit of rage shot off his gun towards a tree. In return he was left with a fight with a walker, which did not help. "Fuck!" Walkers lay on the ground "fuck this. I hate this" rick looked back dissaprovingly, he swore but didnt like to see his son follow. 

"Come on were almost there" rick said, he looked angry. Abd kind of scary. Carl moved his way closer to michonne, he just felt safer. As the group gained closer he could tell they werent going by the original plan. Darryl and rick seemed to stifen up as they got closer. Hands clenching tighter around their weaponry. 

" were here." A barb wire gate encircled a plenty of buildings. 

It was a sunday, that always ment good food. First it was pancakes, his mother came out with a sta k that was so big he awore if he jumped off he would die. Rick laughed at his sons eager expression. He doused it in whipcream and slopily laid a cherry on top. They all luaghed. Next was french sandwiches, he ate them all to quickly lori got angry at him too. They played board games till dinner. He ate a four course dinner, shrimp cocktails, coconut soup, stake and his favorite, potstickers. And lastly was the cake. They ate till nothi ng bothered them any more. Till he was safe and clean and fed and right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

" Put down your weapons!" He was in the lot next to a train cart. He had lost track of time. How did he do that? He was at terminus, carl felt a chill run up his spine, his dad was at the train car "now the archer" daryl began to walk over too, he could tell his father was worried, very worried, and angry. "Now the samurai. ......" he started to panick. Please don't leave him alone please. His knees shook which vibrated his body making his hips ache like hell on earth.

"MY SON!" his dad yelled. Carl jumped. Everything was startling him. 

"Open the door and go inside," he cpuld tell his dad was conflicted, kept waiding back forth, " do you want your son to die?" Rick bit his lip and trudged inside. Carl looked up and was told to go. He sped walk, well limp sped walked to the cart his heart was pounding. Hequickly rushed in the cart without thinking. CLANG. Before he realozed it he was stuck. He was trapped in a small space with who knows else in with him. And he couldn't get out.

"Rick?" Carl heared the familiar voice of a friend. Glen. It was glen. He came rushing at him arms spread for a hug. It felt like someone punched him in the gut. Carl shielded himself and crouched. Letting out a small scream. It was happening again. He couldn't breath. Everything was wurring, and strange people were staring. carl cradled himself, feeling whiplashed and beaten. Crawling away towards the corner. Nothing but guilt and shame and anger, it was cold and everything was blurry, mentally foggy. He fell onto the car floor, hitting his ass a little too hard. Again gaining the attentions of the train car. it all dissapeared. 

"Happy birthday!" Sound of a sweet woman.


End file.
